


Honey, Won't You "Bean" Mine?

by ThePlatypusPrincess



Series: The Many Misadventures of a Good Bean [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Puns, Baking, Cooking, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Honey, Idiots in Love, M/M, One Big Happy Family, Reaper Bean (Overwatch), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, making biscuits, messes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21825982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePlatypusPrincess/pseuds/ThePlatypusPrincess
Summary: Is there any problem Jesse McCree's biscuits can't solve? Probably, but when one is very small it becomes increasingly difficult to hold a spoon.
Relationships: Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison
Series: The Many Misadventures of a Good Bean [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1123161
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Honey, Won't You "Bean" Mine?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to WhoGeek for putting up with my great big dumb ideas.

Ana nodded, pleased at the aroma winding around the base’s kitchen. “I’m surprised at you, Jesse. It’s not like you to bake.” 

The cowboy shrugged as Jack walked in, Hana piggybacked on his shoulders. “Eh, it ain’t voluntary. Hana wanted real biscuits and I just happened to have everythin’ on hand.” 

“It’s not like you put up much of a fight, McCree.” Hana clambered down from Jack’s shoulders, sliding out of his arms with a sassy salute. “Dads said you knew how to make them best and I’m curious! Busan had American eateries but a lot of them closed once the MEKA program started and none of them had your real Southern stuff.”

Jack slid into the one booth in the kitchen rather than the tables. “She’s doing the ‘kicking my chest’ thing, Jesse. Don’t keep her waiting.” 

“You can’t rush biscuits, Jack!” yelled McCree, gesticulating wildly at the oven. The former Strike Commander grinned as Ana put a jar of local honey out on the counter. 

“Here. We can bring it out to Bastion in his garden once they’re done and cooled. Pay Jack no mind, Jesse. He's just grumpy that Hana made him laugh earlier.” 

“I am not!” 

“Oh, please. I saw you start squirrelling away ideas for next Halloween in order to do it again.” Ana shot him a look. “You're still a sentimental fool.” 

Jack rolled his eyes as a small unholy shriek sounded off from the doorway. All heads turned to see a very tiny Bean standing up to his full height in the middle of the threshold. Hana cooed. 

“Ah… dad, did you have a bad day?”

Jesse sighed, checking his timer. “What happened this time?” 

The Bean fluffed up his midnight feathers, snowy facial disk twisting up in an uncomfortable grimace. Jack leaned forward, arm outstretched. The corroding owl scowled at him but still waddle-hopped his way over and settled his beanbag body into Jack's hand. 

“You want up or just want to stay in my hands?” 

Bean twisted his face away sulkily and Jack deposited him on the Formica table. Hana reached over and stroked his head fluff. 

“Aw, he's cute when he's mad.” 

“Yeah, well, he is now. Shoulda seen him before he had the whole owl beanbag thang,” muttered Jesse as he snapped open the cooling rack. Bean shrieked again, flapping his wings at Jesse in distaste. 

“Yes, Gabriel, you are quite pleasant.” Ana brushed off the affronted glare Bean gave her. “You saw the news about Akande hunting down defectors, didn't you? Don't worry. We'll protect Olivia. The same courtesy extends to you.” 

Bean deflated as he settled his back against one of the napkin holders; violently ripping one out of the metal box and flinging it at Jack. The MEKA pilot stifled a giggle behind her hand as Bean sulked further, chirping under his beak. 

The timer rang and Gabriel's plight was swiftly forgotten as Jesse reached into the oven with his prosthetic, retrieving the tray of biscuits for the rack. Bean's already large eyes grew saucer round as he leaned forward. Hana patted him. 

“Looks like no one can resist Jesse's biscuits.” 

Bean shot her a look as McCree chuckled, gingerly removing each fluffy cylinder to the grid. 

“Hey, now, don't you go teasin’ him. It'll just bring me a world o’ hurt later.” 

Bean puffed himself up, waddle-hop-marching toward the edge of the table. 

“In-grate!” he rasped, squeaking out the word as Jack reached forward to block him from toppling off the edge. Jesse smirked and continued fanning the biscuits as Hana hopped behind him. 

“Come on! I'm actually taking a break for this!” 

Ana popped open the jar, placing a spoon next to it. “Patience, Hana. All good things to those who wait.” 

Hana pouted but backed off as Jesse checked the temperature. Jack pulled out two saucers from the cabinet and placed one in front of Gabe. The disgruntled owl glared up at him, screeching as Jack handed him a napkin. Jack sighed. 

“Buddy, do you want one or not?” 

Bean glanced at the room and puffed himself up, settling in on the table and swiveling his head away. Hana giggled. 

“He really is throwing a tantrum.” 

Ana nodded. “Of course.” 

“Alright!” drawled McCree, one hand on his hip. “Hana, go ahead.” 

Hana punched the air and snatched one, taking a huge bite into the buttery fluff. Her eyes slid shut, hopping out of the way as Ana reached for one. Fareeha poked her head in. 

“Did my idiot brother make something good?” 

Jesse tossed her a lazy smile. “Maybe? Who wants to know?” 

“Genji. Save one for him.” Fareeha snatched one, winking as she spread honey on the inside half. Jack stood, looking at the beanbag owl. 

“Would you like one or should I just get one for myself?” Bean gave him a wounded look, waddling forward to bump Jack's hand with his head. Jack chuckled. “Oh, so now you wanna play nice? Alright. You win.” Bean trilled as Jack cut one in half and then quarters so that the small creature wouldn't choke. Steam rose from the slices as thin trails of butter melted into the fluff. Everyone with legs long enough to reach the floor started chatting idly as the excellent treats disappeared one by one. 

Bean took a small nibble as he watched Jack's face relax as Ana made him laugh. He felt just as warm and fluffy all over as his appearance would suggest, his feathers puffing slightly as he watched. His head swiveled about, searching for something to repay the unending kindness and acceptance, albeit delivered with a heaping dose of sarcasm. Little black buttons settled on the jar an entire room away and he cocked his head to the side. Could he do it? Was it actually possible? Well, only one way to find out. 

Bean waddled to the edge, bobbing his head as Jack was distracted. The world blurred as he shadow stepped directly in front of the honey jar. Immensely pleased with himself, he hopped up onto the edge, firmly grasping the loaded spoon in his beak. A determined set to his wingtips, and he concentrated on a spot on the table. 

Jack startled at the clatter and saw the black ball of leather and feathers struggle feebly up from the overturned jar. Hana stood. 

“Oh no!” 

“Gabriel!” 

“Shoot, dad, what happened?” 

Jack was at his side within seconds, gingerly lifting the creature from the thick pool of honey. “Gabe, what on earth?” Bean gave a tiny whistle as Jack attempted to wipe the biggest globs from the now disheveled feathers. Jack noticed the spoon still stuck in Bean's beak. 

“Buddy, if you wanted honey, all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to try to get it yourself.” 

Bean gave him a mournful look as Jack sighed. 

“There's nothing I can do here. Gotta clean you off the old fashioned way. Sorry, Jesse, but I have to help him or he's just gonna just sit here in honey until he recharges.” 

He picked up Bean, cupping his hands so that the honey wouldn't drip onto the floor. Ana grabbed Jesse's serape as he stepped forward. 

“What's gotten into you?” 

Jesse frowned. “That little shit looked entirely too smug, in my humble opinion.” 

“Of course he did. What else would you expect from Gabriel Reyes when Jack Morrison is involved?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack spread out a towel onto the floor in front of the bathtub, turning on the shower head to warm the water as Gabe sat on the the sink. “Alright, darling, let's get you cleaned up.” 

Bean hopped onto Jack's hand as he checked the temperature. Jack knelt down and attempted to place Bean safely into the tub. Tiny nubby wings latched onto his wrist, little chubby body scrambling up his arm. 

“What is wrong with you? It's just a bath. I can scrub you off perfectly well from here.” 

Bean blinked up at him, button eyes wide and worried. Jack scoffed. 

“Seriously? You're so traumatized by honey that you need me to go in there with you?” 

Bean head bobbed an affirmative and Jack let out a long-suffering sigh. 

“Fine.” 

Jack took his boots off, stripping off his shirt. Tactical gear and pants were hung over the towel rack as Jack carried Bean into the tub. 

“There. Happy?” 

Bean chirped, beaming as Jack sat down, back against the far wall, almost lounging, water running over his chest as he reached over to an internal shelf for soap. Jack felt a tiny weight on his knee as he righted himself and saw Bean perched lightly, wings extended out to their farthest nubby extent. 

“You're entirely too happy about this, you know that?” 

Bean hopped forward and landed on Jack's stomach. A soft poof later and a very sticky, very naked Gabriel Reyes was sitting straddling Jack's hips. Jack rolled his eyes so far back in his head it was nearly audible. 

“I want to be surprised, but I'm not.” 

Gabe grinned as Jack reached up, shaking his head as his fingers came away from Gabe's shoulder still covered in honey. 

“So you can will away your outfit but the honey stays? Also, what were you thinking, trying to use your shadow step twice in your Bean form?”

“Honey isn't a part of what I am so I can't just will it away. And I don't know. I guess I thought I needed to get you something sweet after you've been so damn nice after I came back.” Gabe leaned forward, tilting his head to show off his most brilliant smile. “Honey, won't you ‘Bean’ mine?” 

Jack's mouth twitched. “I will shoot you.” 

“Hey, it was worth it to see you struggling to hold back a laugh. Your face is a riot.” 

Jack groaned. “I cannot believe I fell for it. I thought you didn't have enough cognitive power to have any forethought for planning?” 

Gabe shrugged. “Sort of. I have an inkling of what I want. Kind of. It's difficult to explain.” He watched with mild interest as Jack struggled to feign his pout. “Now if this was a full fledged plan-”

He was cut short by the warm tongue traveling up his neck. 

Jack Morrison looked entirely too pleased with himself as he leaned back against the wall. “What? I have a sweet tooth.” 

“You little shit.” 

Jack shifted, eyes widening to make himself look as innocent as possible. “Didn’t you want me?” 

Gabe growled, arms wrapping underneath Jack’s shoulders, pulling him up so that he could keep the soldier close. “I always want you. And I’m gonna take that as a 'yes.'” 

Jack nodded, humming as he found more honey underneath Gabe’s jaw. 

"Everyone thinks you're so innocent and yet here you are-" Gabriel shivered, breath cut short as Jack sank lower. "Jesus, that sweet tooth of yours is gonna really kill me. Gotta try to step twice more often." 


End file.
